Imagine Dee

Well, I-Dwana Crawford (Dee), have decided to try a blog. Generally, I don’t have tons to say to the masses, although if you get me going in a one-on-one conversation, I am going to talk your ear off! I have decided to use this blog as an accountability tool towards my over all goal of becoming as healthy as possible. It is my intent for this to be a place where I can openly share about my findings and challenges on this journey. I hope to be able to find much love, hope and support which will give me an extra umph for the times that I am feeling like I can’t (or just plain don’t want) to go on. Maybe there is even someone out there who can learn from the steps that I am taking.

The title “Imagine Dee” is derived from the Kirk Franklin song “Imagine Me.” The message of the song is that it doesn’t matter what you have done or what has been done to you--God loves you. PERIOD. He is not waiting for you to change or improve or confront the past or lose 100 lbs, etc... He loves you just as you are. I have to say, it took me 8-ish years of emotional turmoil to finally get that in my understanding. I finally can “Imagine Dee” as a whole person. I am not less of a person because of my struggles with my weight (and other things). I sure wish I could explain this eloquently, but I would suggest that you check out the podcast from Momentum Christian Church from March 7, 2010 (God’s Love for Dummies). Dan Smith lays it out pretty good! http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/christianity-for-dummies-gods/id192170997?i=81468732

Here is a little background as to what has brought me to this point. I most definitely grew up “chubby.” I never lost what most people call “baby” fat. My “baby” fat turned into “teenage” fat and then “young adult” fat then to “nearly middle-aged adult” fat. Looking back, I can pinpoint lots of mistakes and behaviors that led to my gaining and holding on to more and more weight every year. Now that I am pushing 40 (I am currently 38.92 years old), I know that I must begin living a healthy lifestyle if I want to live for many years. Somehow I have been lucky to maintain decent blood count numbers, but finally my blood sugar started creeping very close to diabetic territory. I can see what diabetes has done to my mother (who suffers congestive heart failure, kidney failure, and other maladies). Since it is a genetic thing…it is imperative for me to be in the best possible shape to be able to battle any upcoming health problems.

I have given several halfhearted attempts to lose weight over the past several years A couple years ago, I was able to shed 50 lbs, but for some reason I slipped back into old habits and gained some of it back. Recently, I was in the process of trying to figure out a good game plan when Momentum Christian Church announced that they would be doing the third edition of the Biggest Friggin’ Loser (Big Frig). I felt the nudge to join but I struggled with the idea of making my actual weight public. I knew that the Big Frig would be fun and competitive and I knew that it could possibly give me the jump-start that I needed to get down to business. Very reluctantly, I agreed to be a part of the competition and I am so so so glad that I did.

The competition is now over, and I can’t reveal any details until the final results are made public. For this reason, I will refrain from telling my actual weight on this blog… for now. I will just post the plus/minus results (hopefully lots of minuses) of my weekly weigh-ins. I will also talk about the exercise and food decisions that I have to deal with regularly. However, after the Big Frig results are publicized, I will be forthcoming with the actual numbers.

I guess I had more to say than I thought… In the interest of keeping this shorter than a novella, I will hold off on the shout out section. We can deal with those later, but let me just say that I have a lot of people that deserve big ups for lifting me up, holding me up and pulling me up when I was ready to give up.

Now that the Big Frig is done, I have lost some of my weekly motivation to keep on track!! Can you guys give me some cyber-support? Some cyber-umph? Some cyber-nudges? Some cyber-cheerleading? I IMAGINE so!!

Be good today!!

Imagine Me (Kirk Franklin) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jL6vw5xI0Bg